I see you sitting in the darkest corner of the room.
I can see the dread and frustration on your face because you just know this isn't going to go as planned.
This struggling mom in the corner, that is me.
Before I was ever even pregnant, I knew I wanted to breastfeed. And once I learned that I was actually carrying a tiny human, I spent countless hours a day dreaming about the late nights holding my sweet little one as she nursed to her little hearts content.
Fast forward to a few months later, in the delivery room. After the nurse brought my daughter back to me from the nursery(they had her for a few hours I think, I honestly don't really remember) the nurse literally just shoved her to my breast. It all happened so fast and I really couldn't tell you the details. I dealt with the usual soreness and pains that come with breast feeding but I stuck with it and eventually all of that passed. But with one accomplishment comes more problems.
The older my daughter got the harder she became to breastfeed. She became so nosy to the world around her that getting her to sit still for 10 minutes to nurse became impossible. I pushed, fought, and struggled at every single feeding because I was determined to continue. I felt like a was forcing my child to nurse, it's an awful feeling. Here we are at almost 7 months into this journey, and I realized something today.
As I was shopping I passed a mom who was confidently nursing her child. She was so calm as was her child. It was at this point in time that I realized that that's just not going to be us. And I think I'm OK with that. My daughter and I have come to an agreement and we nurse when she wants and if she's not feeling it, we bottle feed. Yeah, I said it. Bottle feed WITH FORMULA. And she's thriving and growing(mommy points for me)
So To the Mom Struggling,
You've got to realize that every relationship between a nursing mom and her child is going to be different, and you've just gotta roll with the punches. Whether your child has breast milk or formula, she's going to do just fine. There's no reason to let yourself get to the point where you dread feeding time. We nurse when she wants and if she doesn't then a bottle it is.
WE NEED TO STOP COMPARING OURSELVES TO OTHER MOTHERS.I can't say that enough. The most important thing in all of this is the happiness of you and your child. You can't push yourself to the back burner, don't lose your own feelings in all of this. That little baby of yours is going to love you no matter what, she's still going to need you to comfort her.
You're an amazing mother. YOU ROCK!